It's not a smatlzy statement when I say my mom is my best friend. I actually talk to her more than I talk to anyone as a rule, except maybe the two-year-old. We have crazy, winding, hard-to-follow conversations that usually get me a raised eyebrow and questioning looks when I'm overheard on the phone with… Continue reading My Mom Tried to Send Me Porn
Scene: twenty-something woman sitting in her bedroom folding laundry in an empty house when suddenly music starts blaring over the baby monitor. This isn't the first time a toy has gone off without warning but usually I was walking through the house and the vibrations could explain it. This day I hadn't moved in a… Continue reading That Toy is Possessed by the Devil
Hi, my name is Allie and I like drugs. Nope, this isn't me admitting to some deep, dark problem. It's just the reality of my life. I like drugs. I'm not talking about street drugs that will get you five to ten in a minimum security prison. I'm talking about the expensive stuff that I… Continue reading I Like Drugs
So, there I was innocently driving home from work just like any other Friday when I noticed everyone in my lane was merging over. This is peculiar behavior so I started looking for construction signs or the cop car when the car directly in front of me merged and I saw the car half a… Continue reading It was on Fire!
A few weeks ago my Monster child destroyed my kindle case and since it's an older kindle finding a case has proven to be a challenge. I finally found one and was certain it would work...too small. Made for a different generation. No good. Luckily for me, I'm a crafty sort of person some days… Continue reading Monster Kindle Cover
I love quotes. I collect them in a notebook that I flip through whenever I need inspiration. Which has been running low lately. So I pulled out my handy notebook and found one of my favorites about getting back up. Ever tried. Ever failed. Doesn't matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. - Samuel Beckett… Continue reading Try Again, Fail Again.