Are you shitting me?

There’s poop on my floor. Again. 

This is the third day I’ve followed a trail of poop to the bathroom with some paper towels and carpet cleaner. 

The first day I didn’t notice the poop and stepped in it, of course it was as I was running late to work leaving me no time to find a new pair of pants and socks. 

The second day it was pointed out to me by the toddler long after the fact. The third day, today, I heard a sudden screaming of “Poop!” before a frantic, and pointless, rush to the bathroom, trailing poop behind her as she struggled out of her underwear (that were promptly dumped in the trash because who had time for that?).

This is life with a potty training toddler who figured out how to get her diaper off. She knows she doesn’t like poop in her diaper and she still struggles to make it to the bathroom. And every day I struggle not to lose my shit as I clean poop off the carpet. Again. 

Yelling doesn’t help. Lecturing a two year old is about as helpful as lecturing a puppy, they can’t help it and they’re trying. But damn is it frustrating. 

We’ve tried a number of potty training methods and so far nothing has stuck. It may be that it’s still too early, it may be that she’s stubborn and doesn’t care enough yet, it may be that I haven’t found the right carrot to bait her but so far everything we’ve done has eventually led back here, to me cleaning poop off the floor. 

I have never been the type of person to want a puppy because the idea of potty training has always been exhausting. Now here I am trying to convince a tiny version of myself that the potty is more fun than pooping in diapers and on the floor. Tiny me isn’t buying it. 

One day we’ll get it, I mean everyone does eventually, but until then I’ll stock up on paper towel and carpet cleaner and endless diapers. 

I’ll also keep looking up potty training tips for stubborn toddlers. Let me know if you have any good ones!